Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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