At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
