he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
