I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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