Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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