Sacagawea was the original milf.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
