you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
