please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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