TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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