All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
