Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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