went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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