Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
