Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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