Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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