I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
