The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
COCAINE IS GR8
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
