New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
