I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
