I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize