idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
