whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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