i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
