Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
