my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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