If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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