Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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