so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
