Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Houston, we have a blender
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
