tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
