Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
