make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
