I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
