awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
