can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
