feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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