haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
