I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
