My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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