I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
