I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
