I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
