The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
