after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
