Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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