Im at strip club and am horny
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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