Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
