69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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