let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
