you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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