Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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