Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
