kristin has been a bad kristin
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
