i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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