if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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