we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
