I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
