Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
