So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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