I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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