Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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