so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
