Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
