Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
