Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
