I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
