I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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